Positivity is Killing You

Don’t stop until you’re proud.

I think it’s time to be happy again.

Be the reason someone else smiles today.

On the surface, these quotes are great. These would have been written in cursive over a cute background picture that I would have made into my screensaver or saved onto my Pinterest when I was younger. But as I got older, scrolling through my phone to see all these messages telling me to feel a certain way, to always be happy, to always smile…I felt exhausted.

Reading constant reminders to stop being sad, that today is a great day, that I am capable of anything, it was making me feel bad when I was sad and couldn’t fix it, when I wasn’t having a good day, and when I wasn’t accomplishing anything great that particular day. Why couldn’t I just be like these motivational posters? Why couldn’t I just BE happy, BE better, just BE not me.

Quotes aren’t realistic. It is NORMAL to feel sad. It is NOT normal to repress it. In fact, ignoring your true emotions will make you feel worse. The idea that you should always smile and act happy, hoping to trick your mind will backfire and you will feel worse. This is a common problem people in Sales face, it is called surface acting. You are not an actor, you are a real person with a range of emotions besides being happy.

Positive quotes are always reminding us to be happy, to always remind yourself you are happy and healthy, to constantly name things you are grateful for. As the book “The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck” told us, this action actually brings to the forefront of our mind that something is wrong. “I think it’s time to be happy again” is actually reminding us that we aren’t happy, and we haven’t been happy for a while. So just change it, right? But how? Now we’re subconsciously sad that we can’t live up to this positive quote. Thanks quote!

My biggest problem is with the quote ‘Don’t stop until you’re proud’. I’m tired just from reading this quote. Don’t stop. Never sleep. You can sleep when your dead. This hustler culture is telling us that the only thing that matters is to accomplish your goals, that you can’t be happy until that goal is fulfilled.

What if your goal is to retire at 55? You’re waiting your entire life for that one moment to finally relax and be happy and enjoy life. But life is not a journey, we shouldn’t be waiting for retirement for life to get better, waiting for Friday to have a good day, waiting until we have accomplished our goal to be happy.

So many of us will cancel meetings with friends or skip the gym because we are too tired. We’ll keep checking our work email or work overtime because it just couldn’t wait. We’ll work through lunch and eat junk food because we are simply too busy to prepare something. Stop putting off other areas of your life just to focus on one goal. While yes a goal is important, so is family, and friendship, and REST. Don’t overlook your well-being for the sake of being a hustler.